Ten reasons why Geeks make good friends - Revised

1. I love the innocence of Geeks. The Geeks weren't the ones face down in a pool of their own vomit for most of their high school years. A rough Friday night for them as a teenager was when the computer crashed and they spent all night trying to fix it. I don't know a single Geek who was too drunk the following morning to take their SATs. In my defense, that was the first time I had ever had 151 Bacardi.
2. My friend, Ellie, was in her early 20's and had never been drunk before. We had a huge party and she decided that was going to be the night. Around 10 pm I walked into my bathroom to see her hugging the toilet, a guy holding her hair back and her heaving like she was trying to get it out of her feet. She looked up at me as I walked into the bathroom, tears running down her face and said "Am I doing this right?" I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time because she looked so pathetic. She was completely consumed with worrying that she was worshiping The Porcelain God correctly. Now I'm not saying the Geeks don't know how to party, they just figure it out a hell of of a lot later than the rest of us.
3. Geeks are smart and funny. They get the Dennis Miller jokes. I suppose I must have some sort of inner Geek, because it wasn't until I started hanging out with the Geeks, that people really started getting my jokes. Occasionally people would get it, but not always. Once I was watching European Vacation in the theater, and the girl looks at a sausage being served and said "I miss Jack...." I burst out laughing but it took the rest of the theater about 15 seconds to catch up with me. My friend Andrew was so embarassed that he got up and moved about 5 seats away from me which caused the whole theater to start laughing again. Honestly, how did they miss that joke?
4. Geeks are always straight foward and up front about things. They make good friends because they are loyal and won't stab you in the back. It doesn't occur to them. It's not logical.
5. I like the fact that Geeks have no pretense of social norms. They will invite you over to their house to play board games or D&D, never realizing the rest of the world plays poker or drinks.
6. The Geeks will look up to you for coolness. They will listen to non-nerds. If you say, "Don't wear that, it's really geeky looking" it will give them pause. Course that won't work if you're talking about strapping the latest digital camera to their waist, but if it's not techincal, they'll listen.
7. Geeks will love your cooking. I have no idea why. I don't know if they're secretly starving to death or if their inability to cook causes them to always be starving but they will wolf down just about anything. And love it.
8. Geeks are an accepting bunch of folks. They will accept your weird friends, your family, whoever. No need to be embarassed, they've pretty much seen it all.
9. Geeks pay attention to detail. They're kind of an anal retentive-OCD type bunch. If my socks don't match, Ellie will notice. If I've got a pimple, Ellie will notice. If the cabinets in my kitchen are open, Ellie will close them. This isn't a bad thing, because if you've got something in your teeth, the female geek will tell you. The male geek will assume he has a chunk too, shrug and go on with his day.
10. You never, ever have to worry that should you find yourself in the position of having to do something athletic, that you will look like a dork in front of your Geek friends. They've cornered the market on that. If they're not the ones who are hideously uncoordinated, then they are either working with, dating, married to or friends with a number of them who are.

Ten Reasons Why You Should Date a Geek

1. He can fix your computer. There I said it. Do you really need another reason? He is not a bum. He has useful skills that can make your life (at least the part that is spent on the computer, and let's face it, that is where we all spent most of our time any way) run smooth. Not enough? OK, here's number two.
2. He has friends who can fix your computer. So now you are in a relationship and he knows he's got you and doesn't feel like he needs to jump every time you call. All of a sudden he is too busy for you? He has work to do and can't get there fast enough? No problem. Call one of his buddies. They'd love to help out. Geeks are the most helpful friends you'll ever make.
3. Not a computer person? OK, here's the killer. He can also hook up the TV, connect the DVD player and Tivo your favorite programs. He'll also hook you up with the sweetest sound system you've ever heard. It would be like angels singing to you.
4. Looking further for another reason? Yes, you guessed it. He has friends who can hook up the TV, connect the DVD player, etc. etc. etc.
5. And it gets better: Not only can he fix your computer and DVD player, he can do the same for your friends. All of a sudden your social life will pick up. Your phone won't stop ringing. Dinner invitations come up every night of the week. You'll be as popular as if you owned a truck and you don't even have to help anyone move.
6. Sigh... you really want more reasons to date a geek? Fine. Here's one for your vanity. He'll make you shine every where you go. No matter how clumsy your sense of style, no matter how awkward your social skills, you'll be a fashion star and a classy diplomat next to your geek. He'll make you look so good; you'll fall in love with yourself.
7. So you are not into computers, TVs and DVDs and you don't care about being popular and fashionable. What about the newest techie gadgets? Do you like cell phones, digital cameras, camcorders, or MP3 players? Forget bling bling. Let me tell you girlfriend, you are going to be a proud owner of the latest gadgets if you ever decide to date a geek. Your cell phone will not only have your best friends' number on speed dial, it would also be able to take pictures, make movies and even do your nails. Your sleek, sexy, and very small digital camera will take pictures that will put Ansel Adams to shame and your brand new, top of the line MP3 player will make all the heads turn your way.
8. Not satisfied yet? Ok, I hear you. You are saying gadgets and toys are fun, but they won't keep me warm in the middle of the night, if you know what I mean. Well, I didn't think I would have to tell you this, but I guess you are going to make me spell it out for you. Here's the deal, sweet and simple: Your geek will worship the ground you walk on. He'll be so happy that a pretty girl like you paid attention to him that he'll be at your feet. He'll adore you as if you were his queen. In his arms, you'll feel like you are at the top of the world. Believe me, I know what I am talking about.
9. I know I got your attention now, but wait it gets better. He won't cheat on you either. You don't believe me? Here's a test. Place the sexiest woman on earth in a room with a geek, say Angelina Jolie in a Victoria Secret sexy lingerie. At the other corner of the room, place the latest model of some computer or other. I am willing to bet my bottom dollar that your geek would want to play with that computer much more than getting to know Angelina Jolie. In fact, he might not even see her if the computer is on and connected to the Internet. C'mon he has to check his email, surf the web and blog about the fact that he is in a room with Angelina Jolie ;)
10. Ok, reason number ten. Did I mention he can fix your computer???

Ten reasons it isn't always easy being married to a Geek - Revised

1. NERDS ABOUND. You will never ever miss another episode, movie, museum or function relating to Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, or other such geek fests. The references alone to such nerdities will kill you. I don't care about Cling-ons, Tantoieen, and have been dubbed by Steve and his friends as "Ring Hater." It should be against the law.
2. MEMORY. Our minds are complete and utter LINT TRAPS. Not steel traps, LINT TRAPS. We capture all kinds of useless crap and store it up there. I can remember all the characters in a book he read when he was 8 years old but he can only remember 2 of the 3 things he was supposed to get at the grocery store. I can remember the date of Nolan Ryan's no hitter, but I can't remember our anniversary. I remember every battle of WWII, but can't remember what I gave you for a wedding present.
3. VOCABULARY. Let me call this the Dictionary Effect. He can't use normal words that the rest of us use. He says he's going to ping somebody. In my mind that means he's going to throw things at them while they sit at the lunch table. For some freakish reason that means he's going to contact them. He thinks he's a freakin' computer because sometimes he has to "let processes run in the background" for the rest of us, that means, let me try and recall......He queues up the dishwasher. For you and me, that's the time delay button while I get in the shower. I just don't even want to tell you how he uses and abuses vocabulary. If he meets someone he doesn't like, they "have a bad UI." To you and me, they were an obnoxious jackass with Asperger's.
4. BAD, BAD CLOTHING CHOICES. Fashion King he is not. Nor are the rest of the geeks. Last week he tried to get me to buy him a track suit that I swear I saw Al Davis wearing.
5. COMPUTERS ARE SEXY. You will never be sexier than a computer. They will even refer to software and hardware as SEXY. Microsoft's Avalon techonolgy is what they deem sexy. Dress in your sexiest outfit while he's on the computer and his eyes never leave the screen.
6. FREAKISHLY STRONG FINGERS. I refer to his index finger as his mouse clicker. He has freakishly strong fingers. As an oldest child he developed torture techniques for his siblings, namely by pressing with his finger right into the center of your chest. He calls this the Finger of Death. It hurts like hell. Add freakishly strong fingers to that and you have a pierced sternum. Try prying just one finger off something he's not supposed to have and it takes two hands.
7. OH GOD DID I MENTION STAR WARS, STAR TREK, AND LORD OF THE RINGS?

The Do's and Don'ts of Dating Geeks

1. Don't say it, email it: The power of the written word, errr…typed word, I mean the power of email. Do not take this lightly. If you want your geek to do something for you or to remember it, be it taking the trash out on Thursdays or your Mother's birthday present or dinner with the neighbors, don't tell him, send him an email about it. Better yet, send him a schedule request. He'll honor that commitment a heck lot more than if you told him the same thing thousands of times. When it comes to remembering those commitments, don't underestimate the power of email reminders.
2. Do make him step away from the computer. If you want his attention, find a way to get him away from the computer. He will not hear a word you say while he is engaged with his computer. You need to physically remove him from the premises of the said device before he comprehends what you are trying to convey to him. How do you get his attention? Well, if he likes steaks, then you make one and make sure he can smell it. If he likes cheesecake, then start eating a big slice of it right in front of him and make sure he hears you oooh and aaaah over how yummy the cheesecake is. If he likes you in a certain red teddy, then ...well you catch my drift. Once he is away from the computer, you will have his undivided attention.
3. Do plan your vacations around geeky conferences. My husband will have a heart attack if I planned a romantic getaway for two for a week vacation in Europe, but he'll name me his goddess if I decided to tag along for his trip to Paris for Les Blogs and a quick stop over in London for a geek dinner. There are geek conferences across the world. Heck, they even have geek cruises. You can justify the expense in terms of career advancement and educational costs. You can have plenty of time to shop alone while he is attending the conference and you can find fellow spouses and non-geeks to party with all through out the trip. There is also time left for you and him to do a romantic dinner and some sightseeing. It's really the best of both worlds. If you don't believe me, read my posts about our trips to Paris, London, Brussels, Dublin and Cork.
4. Don't boycott geek dinners. Attend a few with your geeky lover. Get to know his friends. Get to know him in his element. Believe me, you can have fun in geek dinners. Just read my post on "The non-geeks survival guide for geek dinners."
5. Do appreciate his honesty, but Don't expect much diplomacy. Let's be realistic. Your geek is not going to be the one who has a way with words. He is not going to be the most charming lad you met. And there is a chance that he might be so straight forward sometimes that he could hurt your feelings. Please understand that he doesn't mean to offend. He just doesn't know any other way. Please remember that he also won't play mind games with you and with him, what you see is what you get. So in the long run, it is better to be with an honest geek than a charming freak.
6. Do indulge him with a techie toy once in a while. Whether you want it or not, he is going to want to have all the latest gadgets all the time. Instead of letting him go crazy with the bank account and driving you both into bankruptcy, you should buy him some thoughtful and very expensive techie toys that he is lusting after for special occasions. He'll love you for it and it will also keep his appetite in check. He will also reciprocate by buying you some nice bling bling or whatever makes your heart beat faster.
7. Do take pride in your geek. I don't think I need to tell you this but you should be proud of him and you should let your love and admiration show. For their value, geeks are one of the most unappreciated parts of our society. Hey, you are dating the cream of the crop. You are with the top five percent of the population when it comes to smarts and brains. Enjoy his brains and put them to good use.
8. Do find a hobby that you both enjoy and you can do together. Geeks are not all about computers you know. They always have other interests too and they are just as passionate about those hobbies as they are about their work. You hit the jackpot, if you can find a geek who shares similar interests with you. Geeks are passionate and intense about their hobbies too and whether it is movies, books, traveling, wine or cooking, once you'll find the common interest they will have lots to contribute to the subject.
9. Don't share computers or any other machines with him. The caveman territorial instincts come right out if you try to touch what is his. Just don't go there. It can get ugly.
10. Do enjoy his attention and passion. Geeks are intense and passionate about subjects of their desire. Your geeky lover will be the most passionate mate you have ever known. Enjoy!